Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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