You made me cry and you don't even care
youre lurking in front of me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's the barista slut.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
