Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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