i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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