I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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