Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
