69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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