well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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