What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't put those talents on a resume
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
