Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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