watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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