East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
