Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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