Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Alive.
So much puke
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
