You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
