Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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