break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dick very happy bro
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
