I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
