Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
