i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
