yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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