Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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