you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
