i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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