Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
