Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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