also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
