pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
