You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
