So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oh god it's open bar.
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