grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
