He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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