I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize