I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
