Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
