it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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