mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am available for nakedness
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
