hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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