im about as happy as oj after his trial
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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