do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize