hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
