My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
