My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
