North Korea, Best Korea!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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