we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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