Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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