we're blogging at a bar
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
