this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
