Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
