walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
