Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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