bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
