i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
