That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
