Is it because I queefed?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just found puke in my bra..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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