Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
