Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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