But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
