I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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