I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize