if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
