I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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