You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
