come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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